In my last post, we talked about how romancelandia can serve as a powerful and relatable way to begin understanding your sexual orientation, gender identity, and expression. We talked about embracing your journey as a unique love story—full of discovery, vulnerability, and celebration. 
I want to talk more about how you can practically use the themes of romance narratives to support your ongoing journey of self-discovery. Because, just like in a compelling romance novel, your story deserves patience, nuance, and above all, compassion.

The Power of Self-Discovery as a Romance

Romance stories aren’t just about the happy ending or the dramatic plot twists—they’re about growth, understanding, and authenticity. They show us that love, in all its forms, is a process — sometimes messy, sometimes confusing, but ultimately transformative.

Your journey with your sexuality, gender, and self-expression mirrors this: it’s about learning to love all parts of yourself, navigating society’s expectations, and often, rewriting the narrative you inherited. For more on rewriting the narratives you inherited, pre-order my book Thrive: Your Identity Revolution. We talk a lot about rewriting our story and unlearning the harmful narratives that society and media led us to believe about ourself.

Recognizing the Plot Twists and Heartwarming Moments

In romances, plot twists often lead to the most meaningful growth. Similarly, your discoveries about who you are might come unexpectedly or develop gradually. Some moments might feel confusing or scary, but they can also be empowering:

• Realizing you’re attracted to more than one gender can be a revelation that rewrites what you thought was fixed. Recognizing how, for some of you, this may change over time and become fluid, and for others it may crystalize.

• Exploring different ways to express your gender might challenge stereotypes and help you feel more authentic.

• Questioning societal labels can be like the hero confronting their fears—courageous and necessary.

Remember: role-playing with labels or identities is not a requirement but a tool for understanding your own story better. Just like characters in a romance, you’re free to evolve and define your identity on your own terms.

Using the Themes of Romance to Embrace Your Authentic Identity

Here are some ways to harness the romantic themes of growth and authenticity in your self-exploration:

1. Embrace Vulnerability: Just like falling in love involves opening up, discovering your true self requires courage to be vulnerable with yourself. It might mean sitting with difficult feelings or questions, but those moments are part of your story’s depth.

2. Be Patient with Your Journey: Every love story takes time—there’s no rush to define everything immediately. Allow space for your feelings to evolve naturally, and remember that your journey is uniquely yours, unfolding at its own pace.

3. Celebrate Your Discoveries: Every realization—big or small—is a milestone. Just as romance stories celebrate moments of connection, celebrate every step toward understanding and loving your true self.

4. Remember You Are the Hero of Your Story: The journey includes setbacks and surprises, but ultimately, you’re creating an authentic life that resonates with your truth. Own your story, honor your feelings, and be proud of your resilience.

Healing and Self-Compassion on Your Journey

Much like a romance novel that embraces imperfections and raw emotion, your exploration of identity involves self-compassion. Sometimes, you might face doubts or societal pressures—these are parts of your story, not flaws. Offer yourself kindness and patience, just as a caring partner or friend would.

Discovering and embracing your sexual orientation, gender identity, and expression is a lifelong adventure—a series of chapters filled with growth, surprises, and love. Your story is valid, powerful, and deserving of celebration.
So, as you move forward, remember: you’re the protagonist of a beautiful romance, and every twist and turn is a part of your unique journey toward authenticity.

What are you most excited to read? I've read Will it Hurt, Taste of Love, and Let the Mask Fall and will be posting my thoughts on them right before release day!

Imagine your favorite romance stories: the moments of self-discovery, the feelings of awakening, and the journey toward authentic love and connection. Now, picture applying that same sense of romance, adventure, and vulnerability to understanding your own sexual orientation, gender identity, and expression.

This isn’t about fitting into labels but about embracing your unique story—one filled with discovery, growth, and self-acceptance. By viewing your journey through the lens of romancelandia, you can approach these aspects of yourself with curiosity, compassion, and a touch of magic.

Why Use Romancelandia to Explore Your Identity?

Romance novels celebrate the beauty of authentic connection—whether with others or within yourself. They remind us that discovering who we are is a deeply personal, emotional experience worthy of patience and kindness. Applying this perspective to your understanding of your sexual orientation, gender identity, and expression allows you to:

• See your identity as a compelling love story. Every revelation is a chapter in your evolving narrative—full of surprises, challenges, and moments of clarity.

• Honor the complexity of your journey. Just as characters in stories face obstacles and growth, your self-exploration involves ups and downs, hesitations, and breakthroughs.

• Celebrate authenticity over perfection. Romances aren’t about flawless characters—they’re about real, imperfect humans embracing their true selves. Your identity journey is just as valid and beautiful.

Embracing Your Unique Story

In romancelandia, every hero and heroine’s story is different—including their sexuality, gender, and expression. Your journey might involve:

• Unraveling internalized societal messages. Like a plot twist, recognizing and challenging societal norms can be liberating.

• Exploring fluid identities and desires. Just as romance stories sometimes feature unexpected love connections, your identity may evolve or be more flexible than traditional labels.

• Accepting and loving your authentic self. Every love story begins with self-acceptance, and your narrative is no different.

Navigating the Journey with Compassion and Curiosity

This exploration isn’t about rushing to define yourself but about honoring where you are now. Use romancelandia as inspiration to:

• Approach your identity with curiosity. Every story has mysteries to uncover—your feelings, attractions, and expression included.

• Practice self-compassion. Like a caring romance partner, be gentle with yourself as you navigate questions and discoveries.

• Celebrate your authentic voice. Your journey is valid, unique, and essential to your happiness.

Your Love Story of Self-Discovery

Remember, discovering your sexual orientation, gender identity, and expression is a heroic journey—full of discovery, growth, and moments of self-love. Just like the best romance stories, it’s about authenticity, vulnerability, and embracing every twist and turn with an open heart.

Are you ready to write your own love story of self-discovery? Embrace your truth with curiosity and kindness, and know that your journey is uniquely yours. Celebrate your authentic self and step into the fullness of who you are—because your story deserves to be seen, cherished, and loved. 
What romance novel have helped you shape your story, helped you figure out parts of yourself. I have learned new facets of who I am through so many romances, and the most recent has definitely been Kiss Me, Maybe by Gabbi Gamez. Let's take this discussion to the discord to talk more about books that have shaped us.

The Arun Nixes Series by Ali Williams

Book One - Nix and Tell

I recently finished this short, spicy sapphic paranormal romance set in the super cute and intriguing Godstouched Universe, and honestly? I had a good time. It’s perfect if you’re looking for a quick read that’s sweet, sexy, and sprinkled with divine drama and delicious kink.

Meet Chlo — a nix (water demon) who’s basically a talented tailor but is also like, firmly not into water or her river, odd? yes. She’s living that quiet life working her craft in a cozy British town, basically avoiding her true nature. Enter Violet, her super bubbly best friend, a witch who runs a crystal and healing shop next door, Spellbound. Sparks fly from the jump, but with a goddess meddling from above (because of course she does), suddenly the universe is pushing Chlo to explore love and drown her in it—literally.

I loved how this book just pops with charm and a strong sense of cozy worldbuilding. The magic feels natural, and the divine politics add some nice tension without making it overwhelming. Plus, the town festival vibe? Loved all the small-town feels. Williams truly does a good job balancing romance, magic, and divine shenanigans without overloading you.

And the chemistry? Chef’s kiss. Chlo and Violet’s connection is just so good. The spice is there but it’s also really tender — you can tell they genuinely care about each other. I really appreciated how clear and thoughtful their boundaries were, especially with how some of the sex scenes include kink (rope play, fisting, etc.), and it’s done with care and respect. Also, the characters’ dynamics—like a service top with a submissive streak and a bossy domme—are chef’s kiss again, super diverse and refreshing.

Now, full transparency: since this is a novella, it’s kinda on the shorter side, which means some of the inner struggles and world-expanding stuff feel like they could’ve been fleshed out a bit more. But honestly? That didn’t ruin my enjoyment. The prose is simple and clean—maybe a little too sparse at times—but it’s enough to keep you hooked. The scenes, especially in the water, could’ve been more detailed, but they hit the right emotional beats for what this story aims to be.

So if you’re after a quick, fun, and totally smokin’ sapphic read with divine vibes and a sprinkle of magic, I’d say go for it. It’s a feel-good, sexy palate cleanser, and I’m excited to see what Williams does with the other couples in this series.

TL;DR: Cute town, divine matchmaking, sizzling chemistry, and a ton of queer magic. Would totally recommend for a little escape and some spicy feels. Can’t wait for what’s next!

Book Two - Never Nix Up

This story focuses on Hazel, a sweet artist who’s caught between her love for creating and her role as a Nix, a river demon, and an acolyte under the goddess Trisantona’s watch. Hazel’s got a lot on her plate—nightmares, constant pressure from her family, and the silent ache of forbidden love for Finn, a vegan baker who owns one of the local shops. Finn is all about helping Hazel forget her stress—whether that’s with sensory deprivation or just a good old-fashioned pastry binge. And honestly? Their chemistry is so palpable. You can feel the tension and the sparks flying, even when they’re just talking about boundaries and limits.

Williams really steps up her worldbuilding here, adding new layers to the Godstouched Universe — more magic, more politics, more of the divine interference we loved in book one. It’s great to see characters from the first book pop up, plus new faces and fresh stakes. We also get to see Hazel’s family making things more complicated, since they’re involved in some darker, more dangerous stuff connected to Finn’s town and friends.

And speaking of spice, oh my God, this book goes there—in the best way. The chemistry between Hazel and Finn is sizzling, with plenty of kink, body paint, and consent discussions that felt mature and respectful. It’s refreshing to see a book that highlights boundaries, limits, and the importance of communication. There’s also more representation here—plus size characters, more masc/femme dynamics, autism with sensory issues, and a sweet, genuine handling of queer identity.

Overall, Never Nix Up is a fabulous mix of forbidden love, divine meddling, and genuinely good storytelling. If you loved the first book, or just want a sapphic fae romance with emotional depth, spice, and higher stakes, this one’s definitely for you. Can’t wait for what’s next in the series—bring on more Hazel and Finn!

Book Three - Don’t Give a Nix

I really enjoyed Don’t Give a Nix, the third novella in the Arun Nixes series—it’s probably my fave so far! Kit, a plus-size butch pub owner, just wants an easy, normal life, but divine interference and her own past threaten to shake things up. Her slow-burn romance with Johnny, the rugged mortal mechanic, feels authentic and sweet, with plenty of meaningful moments.

This story adds more weight with Johnny’s death and Kit’s family’s involvement, giving the plot some real stakes. I loved the strong queer representation—Kit’s body and gender expression are celebrated—and the bedroom scenes challenging gender stereotypes, making for a really fresh, respectful, and sexy dynamic.

Perfect for quick, cozy reads packed with magic, drama, and sapphic love. While it’s best enjoyed after the first two books, it works wonderfully as a standalone. Can’t wait to see where Ali Williams takes this series next!

When do you DNF? Do you push through discomfort in a book when it’s a good book? Does it depend on the identity of the MCs? I can push through discomfort when it’s not my own identity, because that discomfort is there for a reason. I can learn from it, unlearn. But when “the call is coming from inside the house” it’s almost always a hard pass for me.

I recently DNF'd a book at about 50%. Completely out of nowhere, I just had to put it down. The reason? One of the FMCs straight-up lied to her mom about being bi.

Honestly, I was vibing so hard with the secondary plot line—like, it was really doing the heavy lifting, honestly. An Armenian woman who is reconnecting with her culture and connecting with other Armenians her age. FMC one was out, had her family and friends’ support, and was just living authentically. Meanwhile, FMC two wasn’t out because she didn’t feel confident her family would accept her (even thought spends a good portion of the part I read talking about how she thinks her mom would be accepting. Oh and the two FMCs met at a cultural event because they are from the same community.

What really broke me was how FMC two’s story was affecting me emotionally. I’m talking chest pain—like, reading about someone denying who they are just sent my body into trauma mode. I get it — queerness isn’t always safe, and some people have to hide or lie to stay protected. I did that for almost 20 years, so I know the drill. But at this point in my journey, I just can’t handle reading about someone hiding their authentic self, especially from the person who should be their biggest supporter.

What hurt even more was the fact that FMC two didn’t give her the benefit of the doubt. She believed her mom would be accepting—before she was caught kissing FMC two in a photobooth at a gala, and then she somehow puts the blame on the other FMC. Like, that’s not what I want to be reading about, you know? It’s not just about personal safety; it’s about trust, love, and the foundational support everyone deserves.

And in today’s political climate, it’s even more raw. We are witnessing a full-on genocide against queer and trans folks in this country—literally trying to erase us. Just reading about queer trauma in a fictional story felt like too much when real lives are at risk every single day.

So yeah, I had to hit pause on that book. It was just too triggering, too real. I needed a mental health break. Honestly, books are supposed to be a safe space, and sometimes, that means knowing when to step back. If you’re in the place emotionally to read this kind of stuff, I really loved the books up until that point, and it’s a romance so I know it will end with an HEA, but I just can’t read the kind of stuff that hurts right now.

Tell me in the comment section, besides problematic or harmful content, what usually makes you DNF a book if you like it and hit the 10% or more mark, because if I'm going to DNF a book I always know within the first chapter or two that it isn't form, or it becomes a NRN (not right now) because I'm not in the mood.

The shortest read of the month has, so far, been the most powerful. It reminded me of the importance of intentionally cultivating spaces of inclusivity. I kept thinking about the trickle down affect, and how the longer we are on this journey of becoming, the more experience we have to share with people who are new to self-discovery. This is also why I wrote my book. But it also got me thinking about how we can intentionally create an online family.

We are living in scary times, it’s more important now, than ever, to cultivate spaces where queer folks, alongside allies, can feel truly seen, heard, and supported. The current political climate is uncertain and even frightening—many of us are navigating fears about safety, acceptance, and belonging, both in our local communities and online. The longing for connection runs deep, especially when it seems like safe spaces are hard to find in our immediate surroundings, especially for those of us who live in conservative communities.

Many of us turn to the internet seeking community—places where we can share our stories, voice our struggles, and celebrate our identities without fear of judgment or harm. While online spaces can be a lifeline, they also highlight the urgent need for real-world communities rooted in affirmation, acceptance, and mutual support.

Recent discourse online between bisexual and lesbian communities has reminded me that, just because you are a member of the broader 2SLGBTQ+ community, does not automatically mean you are an ally or that you fully support or affirm everyone within it. I should not be, yet I’m constantly shocked at how many republican/conservative lesbians and gay men are out there. How many of us do not want to “do gay shit” (somehow I ended up on the wrong side of queer tiktok and was disturbed). Sometimes, these conversations reveal the gaps in understanding and the importance of being intentional about how we show up for each other. It’s a reminder that finding a community that genuinely validates, sees, and affirms you is crucial—spaces where your experiences are recognized and honored.

Creating spaces where we can openly share hard things, ask for help, and celebrate each other is vital. These aren’t just casual meetups; they are sanctuaries where vulnerability is welcomed, where difficult conversations can happen with compassion, and where growth is nurtured. When we foster these environments, we’re building bridges—connecting people across different backgrounds, identities, and experiences—and ultimately creating a sense of safety that can ripple outward into our broader communities.

For many of us, the journey involves bravery—trusting that we can be our authentic selves without fear of rejection. It’s about listening without judgment, offering empathy instead of advice, and showing up consistently. Small gestures—whether a kind word, an open invitation, or a willingness to listen—can have a profound impact.

Remember, many of us got here because of stories—whether through books, TV, or films—that allowed us to see ourselves reflected, to feel seen, and to imagine lives full of possibility. For many of us, that meant stories of  romance—where we saw ourselves on the page, living and loving in queer normative spaces. These stories helped us find a place where we belonged, and they continue to inspire us to create the communities we need today.

Let’s work together to build those communities that validate, support, and uplift one another. A community where every person feels seen and loved for exactly who they are—because that’s how we grow stronger, more resilient, and more connected. We’ve all come so far, and the future is brighter when we collaborate to foster the spaces that so many of us deserve.

If you’re feeling scared or isolated right now, remember: your presence matters. Your story matters. And your voice can help shape spaces where others find solace, strength, and affirmation.

Together, let’s continue to cultivate genuine connection, understanding, and support—creating a community so many of us need and deserve. Because when we uplift one another, we create a world where everyone can thrive in their full, authentic selves. Join me on discord and let’s get into community with one another!

Happy Pride, thank you so much for being a member of the paid tier. You have no idea how much this means to me. Especially considering I'm 3 weeks out from the closure of my agency due to federal Medicaid budget cuts.

The state is taking forever with my paperwork, and I was notified that I sent the wrong kind of check so, fingers crossed, hopefully in about 3 weeks my license to practice privately will be official. Then the next step is to apply for a PLLC through my state board, which will take like another month. So at this point it's looking like I'll be out of work until about August. I have a lot planned for this tier, but I want to know what you want from me. Why did you join the paid tier? What kind of content are you looking for? I don't want to post things that aren't interesting or engaging to you. Tell me in the comments what brought you here.

Over a year's worth of work and the paperback is live. I'm not sure I have fully let myself feel this and once I get the physical copy in my hands I might just lose it, but for right now, I'm drinking my scotch, and basking in the joy of a job well done. A dream come true.

When I started this journey, I'll be honest here because we are all friends, it was out of spite. Someone sent a message to the group chat saying that there was YET another anthology of MM stories coming out and all the featured authors were women. I am in NO way saying that non-men can't write achillean stories. I have a deep love for several authors who write a wide variety of relationship dynamics, but a whole anthology and not one gay man?

That was possibly the last straw. On a wing and a prayer I reached out to a friend of a friend who I knew was trusted in the anthology world, and 24 hours later I was emailing authors to ask them to participate. The spite eventually wore off (ok it wore off after 30 seconds because I'm autistic and I don't experience deep emotions for long) BUT the idea lingered and turned into this beautiful project that connected me to so many amazing people.

So, during pride month, since you all are here, I will be dropping secrets about volume 2 on the paid tier, and while I'm telling you the incentives, there is also a discount for the merch in my shop for followers of the paid tier.